Monday, March 16, 2009

St. Paddy's Day

It's St. Patrick's Day Eve...

and I was just reminiscing about St.Paddy's days of the past. I sent one of my friends an ecard today that said

Alas... those days are long gone. St. Patrick's Day is (was) the perfect holiday for drunks like me... a sanctioned day to partake in pub crawls, Mass Street strolls, and various bar games and bagpiping extravaganzas. I used to pay money to get on a bus with people who annoyed me on a daily basis at my neighborhood bar to ride downtown with them and go to Mass. Street bars with them and watch the parade with them, and then to end up the day on the sidewalk outside the overcrowded Sandbar, waiting to get back on the bus to ride up the hill back to the neighborhood bar where the rest of the annoying regulars were super drunk and waiting for us. Good Times! Some years in between all of that I'd hitch a ride in the parade out to the local strip bar/family friendly corned beef&cabbage& $5 cans of Busch light to hear who won the Grand Prize in the parade... it's ALWAYS the Sandbar, people. Always. A couple of good years included riding in the parade wearing ridiculous sequins and tiaras with some fabulous girlfriends. (Actually, I did that after I got sober as well. And pregnant. I was a sober pregnant saloon girl on a St. Patrick's Day float. That was a good year.

Now I don't need green beer to pee my pants. Childbirth gave me an edge in that department.

I still pass out regularly, but it's in my recliner at 9 pm during a movie.

I have flashed my breasts more in the past couple of years than I ever did drunk.

I still have tons of green Mardi Gras beads. They are in a baby wipes container in Grace's toybox.

If you see me sitting on the sidewalk downtown it's probably because I'm doing something fun with my kid.

I am more concerned that Grace wear something cute and green than with whatever I am going to wear tomorrow.

I did make corned beef in the crockpot tonight... skipped the cabbage. I guess I'm too old for that as well. Oh, and calling it Cornbeef Nuggets doesn't work with the kid.

To celebrate this year I would love love love to take my little leprechaun to the parade tomorrow, but I have to work.... Also a first on St. Patrick's Day for many many of the past 20 years. I always ended up taking this as my "Personal" holiday. Like instead of Easter or some other holiday I didn't get as excited about.

So Easter, here we come... we will be all about bunnies and chickens and tweet tweet and chocolate and baskets and eggs and such.

Hippity hoppity Easter's on it's way...

Forget about St. Patrick's Day.

Spending lunchtime with friends in AA.

And after work to the park to play.

We've been going to the park a lot. Anytime we are outside Grace seems more motivated to practice walking. She does well. She walks holding on to one hand when prompted, and will also walk behind walking toys. She has NO desire, however, to stand up and walk otherwise. Crawling is much faster and safer, apparently. And when she's tired, she will crumple to the ground with lower lip trembling, big brown eyes welling with tears, and say "No no no walky."

19 months and counting. Should I call the physical therapist again? She says everything's fine. Should I call Cesar the dog whisperer? The pediatrician? KU Info?

How did anyone parent before Google? And why am I "parenting" instead of just being a mama? I am embarrassed to tell you about the many toddler activity (fun learning things to do with toddler) books are sitting next to my chair (2) PLUS...

The Emotional Life (roller coaster) of the Toddler,

The Happiest Fucking Toddler on The Block,

The Everything You Are Doing Wrong with your Toddler Book,

Healthy Sleep Habits- Happy Child-(If the occasional tiny sip of benadryl is wrong, I don't want to be right)

The No-Cry Don't Smack Discipline Solution,

Parenting with Love,Logic,And Xanax.

You Are Your Child's First Teacher, (Sesame Street doesn't count)

Dr. Sears Baby Book, (Attachment/Bondage Parenting)

Finding Your Inner Mama, (she may be hiding under the bed with the dust-bunnies and the vibrator you forgot you had)

The Girlfriend's Guide to Toddlers... (Because your real girlfriends still have a life and are out having fun without you)

3 of those are on Kindle, not actually stacked in my living room. And the magazines?? Parents, Parenting, Motherhood, BrainChild, Highlights for Younger Children, Working Mother, Woman's Day, Good Housekeeping, (Shut Up.)

Happy St. Patrick's peeing in public, and if you have any books on potty training save them for me.


gypsy said...

This is priceless. The book titles.

I am sad we won't be urinating in public together too. I have made a decree to all my friends that they are not to call, write, or send picture messages of the fun today. In my mind, this is any other day. I'm all Zen about it.

gypsy said...

What is this bus of which you speak? How did I miss it?

Rikki said...

St. Patty's is a highly overrated holiday. Last year was the first time I ever took the day off for it. I just wanted to see what the buzz was all about. What a waste of a vacation day. ;-)

gypsy said...

Rikki just missed her window. She missed the glory years in her twenties, when there was nothing more fun in the world than projectile vomiting green beer down Mass St.

Tanya said...

re: The No-Cry Don't Smack Discipline Solution

I would like to learn more about this, please, as I am having some difficulties with my teenage son. :P

gypsy said...

It's perfectly acceptable to smack teenagers. I encourage it.

"I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time . Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult." --E.B. White