So you teach and model and prompt and hold your breath and spell w-a-l-k and use crazy sign language amongst adults to convey the teaching opportunities as they arise, and then you spit and stomp and cry as she drops to her knees, reaching up and whining "Up, peez, Mama?" and shake your head and grit your teeth as she crawls forward, backward, and round & round in circles, occasionally kicking one leg out in some weird happy pony dance.
And the months tick by as she moves from "late" to "delayed" to "can I get an MRI" and you whine to everyone and shush those Who dare to question you, and you put up with comments like "Well, I've always said you carry her too much." and "you spoil her" and "don't worry, nothing is physically wrong" and "Well, she has an attitude...like you".
And you have every single community resource on child development and physical therapy on speed dial, and they all think you're nuts, and your ex-boyfriend's sister, and your former co-workers, your daycare center's director/lunch lady/janitor and your mother's minister have all been tapped to no avail.
Getting her to take your hand and walk with you is successful only about half the time, and she needs major prompting, mood lighting, an enthusiastic audience, and proper planetary alignment to walk a few steps.
Just when you are ready to purchase crystals and potions to cast some kinda bi-pedal-a-riffic spell from the witch store across the river, one day she just up and walks across the room.
The daycare teachers were practically peeing their pants today & asked the director to call me at work. She comes home and just does it again. We change the subject, pretend nothing unusual is happening, turn on "Dancing with the Stars".
We ask her to go throw things away, come bring me a bite of your pizza, and hey look, a ball. And she walks! She keeps doing it!
We aren't prompting her...she's crawling 75% of the time still, but the rest.... she walks!!!
And you breathe a sigh of relief that if, as you secretly believe, you did something in a past life to screw up your kid, at least it's not this... and you are safe and secure for a moment again. She's NORMAL. and then you ask her to say goodnight to the princesses on her nightgown...she says goodnight to EVERYTHING, you know... and she says " Goodnight, bitches. "