Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Can't buy me love...

I got to thinking today on my way from dropping Grace off at daycare and arriving at work that so much of what is good in my life is stuff I couldn't possibly buy even if I did have more than $7 in my checking account.

It's actually autumnal outside... a lovely blue 70 degree day. It's a day you could wrap up in a package and put a bow on it and people would pay money for it, but you can't buy a day like that... otherwise brides would corner the market on such days. And I'm inside working. But on the positive side, I'm working!

Woo hoo! Mama got a job and won't have to hit the welfare.

I'm actually working at a place I've wanted to work for a long time, it seems that all paths have led here and it suits my skills and priorities right now just fine. You can't put a price on that. It's work that I love, in an environment that I am comfortable in, working for a company whose ideals are put into action, not just a bunch of slick talk. And they pay me? to come here... you can't buy that.

I'm also working part time for friends, hence the fact that I'm often not dwelling on the east-side, I'm flouncing about over on the west-side many evenings and weekends.
I miss the east side... but I still work over here. My new commute to work changed from 4 blocks to 5 blocks. Sigh. Been reading "Bright Shiny Morning" by James Frey, set in Los Angeles, and among many other significant points, it reminds me that living/commuting in LA would make me want to chew my own leg off. I lovelovelove living here... you can't buy that.

So, hi ho, hi ho. It's back to work I went. We had daycare trauma at first daycare. The lady was weird.. with a fake high voice and staccato machine gun laugh. I think she may have actually been a zombie. Regardless, she and Grace did not hit it off, Grace's lil chin would quiver and she'd burst into tears yelling "bye bye" dramatically at me as I left her there. I expected SOME of that, of course, but then I kept hearing from the zombie (I have removed her name from here at her request...hey, I didn't know she was a fan of my blog??!!) that Grace would just cry all day long. I'd pick her up and she'd be red and blotchy, with her chest heaving. It was awful.

I gave it two weeks, finally had Aunt Terri drop her off one day to assess the situation objectively, and she gave it the thumbs down as well. She said it was really hard to leave her, that Grace's reaction was definitely beyond the typical separation anxiety. Which left me with problems. a) How quick can I leave work and go take her out of there b) is there something seriously weird going on at this place? and c) is the problem really with Grace and this is going to be a repeating issue?

Luckily... my fabulous supervisor said "Go. Get. Your. Daughter. Now." The woman was clearly irritated at my unexpected drop in to pick Grace up, and was seriously annoyed. That is never a good sign. Grace was very happy to leave. The next day I took her to yet ANOTHER stranger (to her), a woman who I knew from work years ago. Grace was fine. She did great.

Upon that woman's recommendation, we found a permanent place, a wacky lady in a crazy-busy-loud house... dogs, kids, people dropping in and out. We love her. Grace has started saying her name, which she is quite proud about. She's warm and genuine, really seems to like Grace, and you just can't buy that. Plus I figure Grace is right at home in the crazy dusty house. I love that she has an open door policy. She doesn't ask me constantly what time I am coming, she expects me to walk on in when I get there, whenever. It's very comfortable. And, although it's a mile out of town, it's to the south of town so it's a nice quick drive from either the west side or the east side, with lots of rolling hills and country lanes. Excellent for singing the good morning songs and the going home songs. An unexpected bonus!

Grace is chatting up a storm. According to Baby Center: At age 12 months, most children should be doing this: • Takes a few steps• Says one word besides "mama" and "dada"
And some children might be doing this:
Walks alone• Scribbles with a crayon• Says two words besides "mama" and "dada"

Not so much on the taking steps and walking stuff, and she ate the crayon I gave her. However, she says mama, kitty, puppy, Scott, Aunt T, book, baby, ball, block, eat, milk, Up please, More please, uh-oh. Help, please. No no no no. bye bye. hi! Hi! hi. HI!

I don't know where she gets the propensity to talk a lot.

And I wish she'd get tired of crawling/standing around.

But it's all good. You can't buy that.


gypsy said...

Hi! hi! Hi! hi! to Gracie from her Aunt Gypsy.

I love living here, and YOU.

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to comment on the first daycare experience. Often times children pick on their parents anxiety. If you are not comfortable leaving your child... your child will not be comfortable being left. It won't matter where. If there is a personality conflict between the adults... the child will pick up on that as well.
If you come expecting there to be something wrong... you'll usually find it.
Also most providers ask that you let them know when you are coming so they can let you know if you need to be quiet (sleeping child) or if they will be in the back yard playing or something along those lines. The best daycare situations occur when there is GOOD communication between the client and the provider. I don't think your first provider was asking too much wanting to know when you were coming. And if you were coming at nap time and waking other children... I, personally, would have asked you to come before or after nap time... but not during. Childcare providers have more than just one child to care for... and they have to think about ALL of the children's comfort and needs.
I am happy to hear that you found a provider you click with... and that your baby is happy there. I'm not so sure I'd want my child in a "crazy dusty" house... but if that doesn't bother you... well to each his own.

Kallipalooza said...

Glad she posted as "Anonymous"... I'll NEVER be able to figure out who wrote this.

Kimberly said...

As a daycare provider, your provider was probably asking you what time you would be coming to get your child, not so she could keep tabs on you, but so she knew when you expect you as you probably did not pick up your child at the same time every day. When you arrive to pick up during naptime , it disturbs the children who are sleeping and they need their naps. In my home, I try to not have parents pick up/drop off during nap time but when it has to be done, they are respectful and do it as quickly and as quietly as possible so the other children are not disturbed. Since your child cried and screamed all day (cause she was puffy when you picked her up) I would guess the provider just wanted to be aware of the time you would be coming so she could adjust her schedule and possibly sleeping arrangements to be able to get to your child and get her out the door ASAP!

canadianmom said...

I provide childcare in my home.

Most children are anxious when they first enter daycare- it is normal- part of a child's development- learning that mom and baby are separate people, learning that mommy always comes back...

I have found that some parents have a harder time with the separation than the children do. And the child will respond and cry for the parent- to make the parent feel better.

As to pick-up times. Providers have a schedule that they follow and will accomodate parents when they know they are coming. It is difficult to get a child ready and not have a parent show up. It is also difficult to have parents show up at meal time, or nap time.

It is not easy to get several babies to sleep at the same time- especially if you have new ones and everyone is adjusting to the schedule. Some parents make a lot of noise picking up their children-not fair to the caregiver, or to the children who need to nap. It is standard for caregivers to ask when you will dropping off and picking up and to have a policy in place about no drop off or pick ups during meals or nap times.

A provider is a professional with policies, programme and a schedule. A babysitter is someone you pay to provide casual care for an evening out. Perhaps you were confused as to what kind of care you were looking for?

Becky said...

My name is Becky and I'm a chilcare provider in Texas. I posted as anonymous because I did not want to have to create an account. However I see that I can post with just my name... so here ya go.

Also, your first provider has been VERY professional in the way she has handled your situation. She asked for advice and got a lot of ideas on how to deals and took the best of them.

One of my suggestions was to sue you for sneaking pictures in her home without her permission and then posting them on a public site and then for slandering her here on this public blog. But she took the high road and simply asked you to remove the pictures and any reference to her name/childcare. She is a good person and runs a good childcare. Not every provider had the key to every child and it's okay to realize that and accommodate the child. No one has a problem with you finding childcare that is better suited to your child's needs. But for heavens sake be as respectful of the first provider as she was to you.

I think you were quite lucky your experience was with her.

another daycare provider said...

I too would not allow pick up during nap. Children play hard and they need the relaxation period. Sorry but I run a business and those are my rules too.
Hmmmm,Right at home in that crazy dusty house...enough said. The other house must have been too sane. Grace was afraid of normalcy.

RunLuluRun said...


Glad to see your new blog and hear about your new job. It was good to see you at their breakfast! Love getting the updates. We still have Grace's birthday present to get to her.

Love you.

"I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time . Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult." --E.B. White