Thursday, May 26, 2005

But wait, I'm ready to be good now!!

I got out of the hospital on Sat. May 21, and never expected to remain so dang weak. In times past, each day has brought more strength, less pain, better appetite, etc. Not so this time. Each day has been slooooowwww going. I still have to have someone here morning and evening to feed the dogs, and sometimes to force me to eat, also. It sucks. I don't have any appetite. However, as a new DIABETIC, (Yippee.) I am following a diabetic diet as well as I can, and my blood sugar numbers seem to be coming down with a nighttime injection of insulin. It is FUN to freak people out with that little stick in the tummy of insulin, btw.

I had an abominal CT scan yesterday, which apparently caused my Dr. S, the radiologist, and the Lawrence's premier surgeon to have some big pow wow this morning to discuss my case. They can't believe I am doing as "okay" as I am, considering what they found. It seems that my pancreas tissue started dying, and has been eating itself, and I now possess approximately 20% of a working pancreas. The rest is nechrotic tissue. Which means there is a high chance of pancreatic cystitis and subsequent surgury possibly next week. Apparently Lawrence's premier surgeon feels it's over his head, so he wants me to go to KU med to consult with a surgeon there to be prepared.

Apparently I am supposed to get prepared for the possibility that I'll start a big old fever and go downhill and have this nasty surgury. Okay, whether you pray or not, will you please pray that this does not happen to me?

I am ready to get better! I want to run and skip and hop in the fields. I never want to drink alcohol again. I went to an AA meeting last night and didn't explode. I have appointments set up with counselors and alcohol treatment and I'm getting a membership to a gym! I'm going to be skinny, and healthy, and tan, and may give up cussing. Oh, hell with that.

But really.... today's diagnosis is a bitch, and is compounded by the fact that they forgot to call in my pain meds and I will be out at about 3 AM.
Whine, whine.More scary shit from the Merck Manual.

Death after the first week is usually caused by pancreatic infection or pancreatic pseudocyst.
Pancreatic infection of devitalized retroperitoneal tissue is usually caused by gram-negative organisms. Infection should be suspected if the patient maintains a generally toxic appearance with elevated temperature and WBC count or if deterioration follows an initial period of stabilization. The diagnosis is supported by positive blood cultures and particularly by the presence of air bubbles in the retroperitoneum on abdominal CT. Percutaneous aspiration of pancreatic exudate guided by abdominal CT may reveal organisms on Gram stain or culture, which should lead to prompt surgical debridement. Mortality rate is usually 100% without extensive surgical debridement of infected retroperitoneal tissue.
A pancreatic pseudocyst is a collection of enzyme-rich pancreatic fluid and tissue debris arising within areas of necrosis or an obstructed smaller duct. It is not surrounded by a true capsule. Death is caused by secondary infection, hemorrhage, or rupture.


Rikki said...

so sorry love. I wish there was something I could say or do...I'm thinking of you.xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

RunLuluRun said...

You are a strong and brave woman. I love you. Simon loves you too.


gayhorrorgeek said...

Keep it up! Thinking of you...

gypsy said...

Okay, first of all YOU ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE. YOU ARE GOING TO BE FINE. Better than fine, actually. You'll be healthy, wine-free, and clear-headed. I'll do anything you need. I love you and need you!!!!

Rikki said...

gypsy, thanks for getting her to shave her legs. We all appreciate it. xoxo

"I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time . Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult." --E.B. White