Friday, February 04, 2005

Bitter Railings

Everythings the same here. I've gotten quite a bit of things off my chest to Fester. (this is his new code name since he apparently has an art of letting things fester.)
I saw him last night for the first time. He told me that he was surprised I wasn't more pissed off. I told him I was plenty pissed off, just wasn't acting on it in any psychotic manner, since I don't believe that any such action on my part would change anything, nor do I believe that it's worth changing. I just don't have any respect for any of his reasons or actions lately, and it's proven to me that not only has this not been the relationship that I thought it was, but he is also not the person I thought he was. Scott disagrees with this, by the way. He says I knew (or should have) from the beginning exactly what was up, I've just had 5 years of denial. Who knows. Regardless, I think that Fester had the strength/stupidity to end this, and I did not, even though ultimately it will probably be for the best. I know that... I'm still just pissed. So it's for the best, yada yada yada.... I still hope he has some moments of despair and regret. He deserves it. I told him I don't know anyone his age that is actually this immature. Oh wait a minute. His ROOMMATES.
Anyhoo.... I imagine that someday we'll be friends. I'm sure as hell not telling him that right now, though. And lastly, Ginger wants it known that she only meant IF I want to run out and git married and have kids. If. Kay. Thanks, Mom.

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"I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time . Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult." --E.B. White