Perspective

Life is good... lazy Sunday morning with Grace gone to church with my parents, the windows are all open, there isn't a cloud in the sky. I am wrapping up a nice weekend that has been both peaceful, and fun... except for one thing. Waiting to hear about a job! I can't stand the wait, I think it's the worst part of job-searching.

I was fretting to a friend of mine on Friday evening and it went something like this...." possible rate of pay, and miles to commute, and I've had one offer with a nearby school district as a teacher's aide, but the pay is low, but the commute is short, and what about the other, bigger job? I want it but it will require an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening to get back and forth. That's a lot of time out of my day during my kid's waking hours. I don't want to over-use my parents as a childcare option, but I can only afford so much childcare... but I would have less childcare to pay for if I took a job that was closer and school hours. But what if the big job isn't offered to me? What if they only offer me a medium job? Will I have to choose between small and medium? What are gas prices doing? There are deer everywhere, I've never hit a deer. I don't like country roads because of this. What about snow and shorter days?????'

My friend looked at me and said "But what you are saying is that regardless, you have a job, right?" Oh! Yeah. Ok. I guess I can't control the rest of it, and I am waiting for more information to make a decision. Perhaps there won't be a decision to make... who knows. I just need to remind myself often that I need to let it go, I can't control the outcome of some situations and that's ok.

So regarding my friend. I'll call her Petunia. She told me a story the other day that I loved. It's the story of the "one who got away", a guy she thinks of often.

They were friends during college and he was, most likely, completely in love with her at the time but she was young and insecure and "not good enough" to take it to the next level. So they hung out a LOT. Petunia has a wicked sense of humor, and generally likes to put a humorous twist on difficult things, it's one of her coping mechanisms. (Sounds familiar.) She also loves humorous notecards, cartoons, etc.

One day she was overwhelmed with her life as a single mom-student and was at her wit's end. I think she may have yelled at him or cried to him or something. He picked up her backpack, drove her to Hallmark, and said "Go. Go read the cards and laugh. You'll feel better." So he stood with her in the card aisle while she read cards, giggling and showing them to him "Isn't this one funny???" for a long time. And guess what? She felt better.

Later he went away for a while, I don't remember that part of the story (because she told me this 2 whole days ago and I'm senile.) When he returned, he called her and blurted out his love for her on he phone... unfortunately her soon to be short-lived marriage was in the works with a baby on the way, and when she told him this he said, "Oh, Petunia." and he hung up and she never heard from him again.

And yes, she has tried to find him, to no avail. He has this crazy common name and would be impossible to track. He remains the elusive "Johnny" who got away and pops up in her head now and then when she's feeling nostalgic.

She still sometimes stops at Hallmark occasionally to read the cards.