Hi baby. There's something I want to talk to you about... a few things we need to get straightened out. First of all, what's up with the raisins? I understood with the corn, but now raisins?
Also. I just want you to know that you can go ahead and stand up to walk any time now. Really. No pressure or anything, but we'll support you in any way you need as you embark on this adventure. And when you begin to toddle around a bit, then we can really go shoe shopping. This is important. I understand that you like to dance, but I would strongly suggest you master standing up before you try to dance... we will need to go over this point again sometime after you are old enough to drink, I am sure. Anyway, the world is not lined with coffee tables and sofas. There isn't always something to grab onto, so you're gonna need to stand on your own two feet. It's going to be hard to make friends in college if you are still crawling.
I really appreciate that you are talking so much. I think it's adorable when you say "Up, peez" and "Mick" and "book" and "Hi, baby", and "hi, pretty." And of course, Mama. I just need you to know that I can't always give you what you ask for right away. I try, but you are going to need to practice your patience. Screaming is not an appropriate form of communication.
One more thing... the biting. I don't want to deny you access to the chesty region, but I need you to accept that it is going to be on my terms. You can't pull my shirt down in public and you can't bite me. We will have our time together for this each morning and night, and occasionally when you don't feel well. Otherwise, I need you to stick with the sippy cup and graham crackers. And screaming at my boobs isn't going to help either.
I guess that's about it for now. I think things are going remarkably well, don't you? We seem to get along well and we like each other. I know we share the same sense of humor and mostly sunny personalities. I think we've worked out our sleeping arrangements and schedules ok. As much as you like the phone and pizza, I am surprised you haven't started ordering your own pizza already. You are getting a little behind on the rent, next time we need to talk about you getting a job.
Okay, love you baby.