What a lovely weekend it's been. Friday night I hung out for a while at FS on the porch while waiting for the Victor Continental Sizzling Summer Sexcapades to start... I had never been to a Victor Continental show, and I was quite amused. It's a variety show with local flavor, rude and pants-wetting humor, and a very talented cast/crew. It was a blast, but everyone who was with me fell asleep midway through the second half... I believe it was the culmination of such a hot, hot week and general busy-ness that found everyone exhausted that night, rather than a reflection on the show's entertainment quality.
Regardless, it was fun for me even tho I was not participating in the "drinking games" aspect of it.
Saturday was a perfect, 80 degree day with the bluest sky and big, puffy white clouds floating across it. I had breakfast with Andy, went to the pool and floated/sunbathed/read/socialized with the other pool rats for 3 hours, then came home to meet my friend Amy at my house and to prepare for an evening out. We chatted and chatted, she is experiencing a health crisis from hell and we always seem to have so much to talk about... it's so different to talk to someone who can relate on that deepest level about illness and weakness and the people in our lives who support us and love us, and yet still sometimes make things difficult. You never really know who will have the strength and love for you that will allow them to walk that path with you and be of assistance during your illness. I was lucky to have many people who did that, and if I can be a comforting voice on the phone or a place to land when she needs a break from the daily grind, then it's my privilege to do so whenever possible. She's a fabulous woman who is going to make an even more fabulous breast cancer survivor.
We had dinner with two of the best goddesses ever, (not that there are any bad goddesses, of course) at a place where we could sit outside and enjoy the lovely weather and I could chain smoke, which seems to be my main vice nowadays. Earlier this week I removed all of my cocktail glasses from my cabinets with the intent of wrapping them up and giving them away to other goddesses. In the process, I have now managed to break 2 margarita glasses and a martini glass, one of which bounced down and nicked my leg... perhaps that was a sign. I happily got rid of the nicest set of 4 martini glasses to Ames tonight, so that was good. The rest of the motley assortment of margarita, martini, and wine glasses are going to Gypsy. I believe I found my glassware good homes where they won't be neglected.
Tonight was $ellout at the Jazzhaus, which is always a rocking good time, and is one of my favorite bands to get all sweaty and dancy with.
So, for the first time in a year and a half, I actually got out and danced! One of the songs that encompassed my favorite moments of the night was "I Willl Survive", and it was a great feeling to know that I have survived so much and will continue to grow into myself with each time that I go out and socialize as a sober person.
I hate that the term "sober" is also synonymous with "serious", because that is not and never will be a way to describe me. I am anything but.
However, it gives me great joy to know that everytime I go out and get around crowds of people, I am starting to feel so much more comfortable in my own skin. I don't look sick, I don't feel sick, and it gets easier and easier with each experience to feel normal, happy, talkative, humorous, and outgoing withOUT alcohol. What a concept!
So tomorrow I have to prep my body for Monday's endoscopy and colonoscopy. The latter of the two is the thing that requires the most prep... a clear liquid diet all day and superpowered laxatives intermittenly throughout the day. I bought extra soft toilet paper, gatorade, Fleet phospho-somethingorother, and I have plenty of toilet worthy reading to occupy my time. What a fun way to spend a Sunday.
I do believe that I will put a sticker on my ass on Monday for the doctor and nurses to find before they stick the camera up my butt... It's going to say "Pay heed, all who enter: beware of the fog" which all good KU basketball fans know is an homage to the large sign in Allen Fieldhouse which says the same thing, only it's "Phog", not fog, as a tribute to Phog Allen, a great basketball coach. I believe that the indignity of having a camera shoved down you and UP you really deserves whatever humor I can inject into the situation, so I hope that the medical personnel completing the procedure appreciate my attempt at lightening up their day a little.
And really, isn't that what life is all about?