Saturday, August 13, 2005

90 Days...

Today was my anniversary (or birthday, as they say in AA) of 3 months. It's weird, cause actually avoiding alcohol hasn't felt that difficult with all of the other changes in my life and health. I understand that often people go to treatment for 30 days or more, and get lots out of being taken out of their routine and habits. I feel like I am still "out of pocket" with regard to the way my life used to be, and obviously it won't be returning to that exact way of life anyway.

But the past 90 days of being sick has had it's advantages to getting used to all of this. It's been months since I felt the need to spend 3, 4, 5 nights a week downtown... and obviously I haven't been able to do that. So I am feeling pretty comfy at home, I've been reading more than ever, and have been radiating toward more and more tasteless television. Now if I could just get my knitting rocking, and start keeping the house clean, things would be ducky.

I am looking forward to being able to get out and about more, but I know it will be different. Thank god for the best friends who include me in plans and allow me to be pissy, mopy, pukey, or just ambivalent in general about joining them. For this reason, I am devoting this weekend to getting the house clean enough to have people come over at least, rather than just laying on the couch with the beagle moping like I did last weekend.

In honor of my 3 months of sobriety, and hoping that the next 3 months include both sobriety AND overall good health, I have a few things that


*Falling down

*Losing my front tooth several times in the past 6 years (granted, this was partially due to some bad dental work, but honestly, get me going with a few rum and cokes and something important to enunciate, and the teeth would fly. I think the final straw involved me and Dave Workman crawling around on the floor of the Red Lyon trying to determine if any of the pieces of popcorn on the floor might actually be my tooth.

*Falling down

*Drunk dialing people and then not remembering what I said.

*Drunk dialing my mother (even worse)

*The Sandbar.

*Worrying if that's a cop behind me??

*Hangovers (duh)... although the past 3 months might actually be considered one really really bad hangover

*Letting R. move in with me in a really bad judgement call.

*Staying friends with people more because of our similar drinking habits, rather than any other commonality.Warning: random sentimental rant ahead: How lucky I am that just a few months before all of this debacle I encountered a great group of women friends who I had much more in common with than not, and its helped me in all aspects of getting through the shit! And then of course there are my rocks... the ones who have been there and hopefully always will be... Scott, Beck, Andy, Wendy, Lydia, and even my mom:). I don't deserve it but they love me despite myself.

I am sure I'll think of more later... in the meantime, I am grateful to be day at a time...blah diddy blah blah blah.


Mom said...

May I say that I am not going to miss the late night drunk calls?

Love Mom

Bernabrat said...

Kalli..u rock girl!!! Congrats!!
I am so proud of u and i dont even know you:) Keep on Keepin' on...
More R coming your way sat/sun evening if its slow at work..glad things are lookin up..

Rikki said...

Keep coming back. It works if you work it. We love you and I'm happy you are on the mend.

We'll be over tomorrow to help you get your shit together. It's easier than trying to get our own together, anyway. :)

gypsy said...

WE LOVE YOU! And I'm quite proud of you, if I do say so myself.

You'll be rockin' out -- sober of course -- before you know it.

And you may not recall, I was right there with Workman that night, searching through popcorn kernels for your tooth. And pulling you in and out of vehicles. Boy that was fun.

ex-wicked said...

I wont miss gagging everytime I brushed my teeth. Oh, and dragging myself to the front door to get the delivery food (and hand the guy a hot check for it). xoxo
congrats, belatedly. I'm so glad that you intrinsicly want to be booze-free, not just bein told to do so. It sure makes life a lot easier when I decide to make changes on my own!!! HP rocks too tho.
Did I spell the adverb form of intrinsic properly?? It is 3:20 am and Im tired. I am only up this late nowadays by insomnia!

"I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time . Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult." --E.B. White