I had to send Rikki my bio for the Vagina Monologues. I'm not very good at writing things like this about myself. Kalli XXXXXX (right, like you don't know who I am) is a service-coordinator for children, families, and adults with developmental disabilities. She works for Blah blah blah of Douglas County. Her hobbies include knitting, reading, watching bad television, and drinking Chardonnay, often all at the same time.
note to Rikki: Do I need to add anything to this? I don’t honestly know why I joined the cast, only that I felt so compelled to do it that I stalked the director and several cast members until Jennie relented and let me in.
Or version #2:
Kalli xxxx works occasionally at blah blah blah of Douglas County. Some days she prefers to stay home and hide under the covers. Her hobbies include avoiding bill collectors, drinking really bad Chardonnay, eating pop-tarts, and utilizing her Walgreens personal massager.
She was recently dumped by the shortest man in the world, and is making it her current mission to whine as much as possible. She joined the cast of the Vagina Monologues as a means of horrifying and amusing as many family members and ex-boyfriends as possible.