So I had a few moments of panicked vanity when this article came out. Why couldn't he have used better pics? Why did I give this guy free rein to my flickr site without approving pics? Why? What if I never get a date again? What if my friends enlarge the belly picture and play "Count how many belly buttons it looks like Kalli has?"
Oh yes, they did that.
Then I got an email that turned my attitude around. Someone wrote: "I wondered why you had such unflattering pictures of yourself up on your web site. I thought it was strange that you gave the guy free rein to use whatever picture of you he wanted." This same person has also said " you really have some weird pictures of yourself on your site."
Huh. Now I'm annoyed. Being sick wasn't pretty, we all know that. It was ugly and pitiful and painful and yucky. But it happened, and it is part of what makes up who I am now. I feel like a very different person now than before all of this happened, and quite frankly, I think I am proud of that.
So yeah, there's some ugly pics of me on there, and my belly is scary. At least it's not an open hole anymore. At least I'm not dead.
And at least I didn't suffer through the ordeal without learning a lot of good stuff along the way.
So I realized that it is what it is. It sucked, it left me scarred, but I think it all made me a better person. And my neither my blog or my flickr site is a "dating resume."
I also realized that anyone who'd see the article, or the pictures, and think anything but good things is an asshole, and probably isn't worth being in my life.
So I've quit being vain about it and am concentrating once again on what this event is... a celebration, an opportunity, and most importantly, a chance to do something kind for someone else. As Rikki always says....Life is good, and don't you forget it.