Monday, April 09, 2007

No Regrets

I have this magnet on my refrigerator. It was given to me by my friend Lulu, the mistress of good energy, goddess of "you go, girl" and queen of positive thinking. I recall that at the time she gave this to me, it tugged at my heart a little bit. It was strange that Lulu, or anyone, least of all myself, could believe that I was destined to be an OLD woman... I was trying to last day by day at that time, I think. And as far as regrets... oh my. I had 'em.

I was convinced that I'd drank away my child-bearing years, not to mention wasted opportunities to find Mr. Right. He wasn't hanging out at the bars I was, anyway. And I was slowly extricating from a 5-year relationship with Mr. Almost-but-not-quite-Right, who is now a very dear friend. And my tired, sick body was pronounced almost certainly done with ovulation and all that good stuff, not to mention the fact that I do have lots of scars and inner scar tissue that made the possibility of carrying a child inconcievable. Hee! Inconcievable. Ironic, isn't it?

Grace is certainly pushing her way around my insides, making room to grow and taking her own space inside me, as I imagine she will claim her own space in the world, as well. I'm thrilled at the thought of being the vessel and support for such a wondrous event. She's bound and determined, that's for sure.

So I'm actually starting to believe that becoming an old woman is possible, and definitely desirable. And that my regrets will be limited, if at all. I plan to live as if it's all possible.


Meg Moran said... What a PERFECT name.

Rikki said...

Grace??? Awesome.

Years ago, I told a friend that I had no regrets. He thought that was weird and then I explained that I have PLENTY that I wouldn't do over again if given the choice, but every single stupid thing I've ever done and all the lumps I gave myself were worth it in the end because that, my friend, is How I Got Here.

Enarda said...

I heart you, Kalli, Rikki, and Grace!

alex said...
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"I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time . Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult." --E.B. White