Thursday, May 26, 2005


A few things I’ve learned while in ICU…

The food sucks. Stick with fruit and sugar free hot cocoa.
It’s not appropriate even when on Morphine to introduce the young male nurse to my mom
“Mom, this is hot nurse.”
“Hot Nurse, this is Mom.”

Don’t forget to poop. Seriously, this is big.

It’s just as easy to be a nice pain in the ass patient as to just be a pain in the ass.

Nurses rock, again.

Wiping ass is a whole lot different on the receiving end, and I say this now with an entirely different perspective.

Mmm. Sponge bath.

It’s easier to watch storm clouds drifting by and wondering if a tornado will strike when you’re already here at the hospital in case of emergency.

Be sure you keep track of your house keys at all times, lest you return to find a bad combo of Tye Pennington and 75 of your closest friends screaming “Move that bus!”

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"I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time . Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult." --E.B. White