Here are some more pictures of crap...

Lack of Communication

Ahhhh.... spring! The weather is soooo damn nice I can't stand it. It makes me want to run around and accomplish lots of stuff, and then nap on the couch with a beagle and some benadryl.

Today we're supposed to get big storms, which I am certain the beagle will tremble about.

I'm waiting for THE BIG KICK... I've had some flutters? always with a question mark. huh? was that something? Or nothing?

I think I'm just hungry, today. But I am getting impatient that Grace isn't communicating with me more directly. Aside from resting her head on my bladder, I'm really not getting much out of this relationship.

I need more feedback than this. I'm a very communicative person. I don't know what I'll do when I have a little non-verbal person hanging around trying to feed off of me and needing... things.

I'll probably take lots of data and attempt to detect patterns in her behavior, as well as determining the antecedents and consequences that directly affect her actions.

In the meantime, I could use a kick or a flutter or something. HELLO????

Love/Hate

Things I'm loving today...

My job (now. I wouldn't have said that at about 1 pm today, but now it's all good)
Scott
My appointment with the fabulous Ames to get this hair taken care of.
The yellow balloon I saw floating away into the sky earlier today. Probably will choke some bird, but it was pretty.
Root beer
Amy Winehouse
My new pink sunglasses. They look ridiculous, but they make me giggle.
crazy people

Things I'm hating today:
Ants
Having to pee all the time
Ants
Bad kitty bringing snakes and such in the house.
crazy people

No Regrets

I have this magnet on my refrigerator. It was given to me by my friend Lulu, the mistress of good energy, goddess of "you go, girl" and queen of positive thinking. I recall that at the time she gave this to me, it tugged at my heart a little bit. It was strange that Lulu, or anyone, least of all myself, could believe that I was destined to be an OLD woman... I was trying to last day by day at that time, I think. And as far as regrets... oh my. I had 'em.

I was convinced that I'd drank away my child-bearing years, not to mention wasted opportunities to find Mr. Right. He wasn't hanging out at the bars I was, anyway. And I was slowly extricating from a 5-year relationship with Mr. Almost-but-not-quite-Right, who is now a very dear friend. And my tired, sick body was pronounced almost certainly done with ovulation and all that good stuff, not to mention the fact that I do have lots of scars and inner scar tissue that made the possibility of carrying a child inconcievable. Hee! Inconcievable. Ironic, isn't it?

Grace is certainly pushing her way around my insides, making room to grow and taking her own space inside me, as I imagine she will claim her own space in the world, as well. I'm thrilled at the thought of being the vessel and support for such a wondrous event. She's bound and determined, that's for sure.

So I'm actually starting to believe that becoming an old woman is possible, and definitely desirable. And that my regrets will be limited, if at all. I plan to live as if it's all possible.