Click for this weeks pics

My parent's house caught on fire last night... what a yucky time of year for this to happen, as if any time would be good. Sorry to send out a bulk email, and many of you already know some of the details, but I did post some pics of my parent's house w/ the usual extravagant Christmas display. They are understandably freaked out, so send a good vibe or prayer out to Stafford, will you? Ginger's email is ginger@vin.com if you want to send a good thought. I can't imagine how they were able to herd 3 Basset Hounds and 2 cats out of there, and of course, Ginger ran back inside to save the computers once people and pets were out.

I left my phone at a friend's house last night while we went to a meeting, and when I got back I had this text:

Mom/dad/animals ok --their house caught on fire-call! from Beck 9:36 pm

http://www.flickr.com/photos/beaglicious/
Check out the first few photos of my parent's house. I guess if you look at the old postcard one, the fire started in the wall by the Amityville horror style windows on the 3rd floor.
My mom is very weepy, and so far my dad is holding up okay. The city is finding them a house, the Red Cross has contacted them, and thankfully they had really good insurance AND replacement cost... for stuff like her clothes, bed, and the washer and dryer, etc. (The fire was on the 3rd floor mainly above her bedroom, so there's lots of smoke and water damage.
Luckily through the years I have swiped photos of my childhood, old pets, baby pics, etc. My mom fussed at me about it this year when she was here visiting, and I promised her I'd make her copies of all the pics and her very own photo album, because I did not like the way the pictures were just piled in boxes up on the 3rd floor of the house. I KNEW something like this would happen.
Anyway, she'll be extra appreciative of that gift this year. Damn circus-time christmas lights... we have no idea of the origin of the fire other than it was in that wall. Structurally, it sounds as if the house is repairable, main damage is on 3rd floor so they lost a lot of storage, clothes, washer/dryer, etc. and then water damage throughout my mom's bedroom below. She'll be getting a new bed for Christmas, most definitely. But they will have to live elsewhere for an undetermined amount of time, so Christmas should be interesting. Thank goodness our family is so laid back and easy-going around this time of year anyway;)

Peace, love, and xanax...

Evolving

Yesterday I spent hours printing small pictures and quotes and pasting them into my new 2007 calendar. I can't figure out if this means that I am excited about the coming year, or wanting to be certain that I don't forget the past couple of years and those who played such important roles. Probably both.

It got me to thinking about the evolution of friendships and relationships in general. My views and interactions with individual people has evolved immensely during the past year. Most of those evolutions have been good, I think. I have a renewed sense of being cared for and valued by my parents and my closest friends. I feel that I have something to "bring to the table" for other people in my life, perhaps hearing a bit of my journey and forced evolution will inspire some spark of hope, or desire to be a better person, or willingness to help someone else, or maybe just remembering not to take things for granted.

Recently I became reacquainted with an old friend that I used to work with. I always felt an age difference with this friend,(he's 5 years younger) and I think our standard "schtick" was that he played out the role of "poor me...I'm not happy with what I have, I'm not getting what I want, what do you think about me?" As the perfect co-dependent, I walked right in with hugs, drugs, and loads of advice that I would never in a million years apply to my own life. But I guess it made me feel better to try to help him in some way. He's likeable, intelligent, funny, has a wide variety of talents and interests, and quite frankly, provided some friendship and benefits that I was pretty open to at that time.

Strangely, after no contact for several years, we ran into each other twice in one week in downtown Lawrence a couple of months ago. As we resumed our friendship, it was obvious that he had changed and grown a lot through the years, but that his dissatisfaction and self-absorption was still there to some extent. It's just taken on new names, faces, and problems.
Here's the evolution, though... he seems willing to take steps to change some of these issues. He doesn't seem as "stuck" as he once was. I know for certain that I've experienced a sea change... almost every single philosophy, belief, habit, self-concept, and manner of living has completely changed for me. Except one: I still seem to be right there with hugs (no drugs) advice, friendship, and yes, even some benefits.

Anyway, long story... but. I am wondering if I, too, am playing that role of the advice-giver/caretaker type person that I tend to play with SOOOO many people in my life. Just ask my roommate, Jamie.

One new philosophy that I have is that I refuse to waste time on people who don't have redeeming qualities that I respect, admire, and that are somehow increasing the quality of my life, rather than sucking the energy out of me.

I am actively trying to live this myself, also. I needed people and their help so much for the past couple of years that it's strange to regain comfort in my own autonomy, responsibilities, emotions, and physical realm. I am damaged in so many ways, both physically and emotionally... yet truly evolved.... I guess I think of some of it as "battle scars". I just hope that people are patient with me as I try to pick myself up and dust myself off and move forward to where I want to be as a person.

Anyway, I guess my old friend fits nicely into a niche that is currently waiting for more of an evolution, but hopefully we are both gaining some positive energy from spending time with each other.

All I want for Christmas...

I heard two funny quotes about the issue of "13th Stepping" in the AA program today.

"How to avoid 13th stepping? Don't screw anyone crazier than you."

"1+12=13: My life is unmanageable and I want to share it with you."

Turkey Trot

About a month ago, Scott ran a Turkey Trot 5k race here in Lawrence. He placed 1st in his age group, because he rocks, and I hope that he actually did the turkey trot in the race...( click on the title of this post for definition and to get the appropriate mental picture) and he won a turkey!! Yippee!

So anyway, I told my roommate, Jamie (who is 23 and just a tiny bit gullible) that Scott had won a live turkey, and that he was keeping it in his backyard with his giant Mastiff, Sam. I told her that they got along famously, and played with each other, and everything. I told her that Scott and Terri were keeping the turkey as a pet. I also said that they had to bring it inside when it rained because it would leave it's mouth open and look up and drown otherwise. I love turkeys.

On Thanksgiving morning, I was watching the Macy's parade, and on the phone with Scott, and Jamie was getting ready to get in the shower. I said loudly "So what time are you guys slaughtering the turkey?", causing Jamie to spring from behind the bathroom door with a look of pure horror on her face, crying "Why are they killing the turkey? I never even got to see the turkey!!" Apparently Jamie had been thinking about the turkey during boring parts of her days, and was planning on visiting it and perhaps taking some photos of it. She was mortified. I handed her the phone, at which point Scott revealed the truth... that he had won a GIFT CERTIFICATE for a turkey...

Jamie doesn't seem to trust me much anymore.

Oskie

My job is often an adventure, and sometimes I end up spending time in interesting and unexpected places, watching very personal details of people's lives unfold and take on a life of their own.

Today was one of those days... I spent the morning in Oskaloosa, at the Jefferson County Courthouse. I've never been to Oskaloosa, but I was pleased to note as I arrived that it does, indeed have a town square, and on that square is a bar called "The Oskie Bar". It may have been open at 9:30 when I got into town, but fortunately I had other business at the Courthouse and didn't venture over to see.

A few observations at the Jeff County Courthouse:
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Overheard:
"We haven't had a reporter here since that guy had a bomb down in front of Rosie's (cafe)"
"Yeah. Didn't that guy blow himself up?"
"I'm not sure. I only remember bits and pieces."

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The district attorney had subscribed to the philosophy that if you just walk really really fast, people will think you are both busy AND important. Seriously, this dude was race-walking up and down the hallway where I and many people from around the area were sitting, pacing, waiting for some sort of ACTION.

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We got there at 9 am, and we did not see the inside of a courtroom until 12:30. People were tired of waiting in the hallway. One gentleman, whose telephone kept ringing to the tune of "Sweet Home Alabama", announced unhappily that he hadn't "ate nothing but Pop Tarts all day."

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I really wanted a cigarette, but consoled myself with coffee instead... I walked over to Rosie's Cafe with one of the people that I was with, where a group of about 8 old ladies sat at a round table and gave me the once-over as I walked in wearing my blazer, skirt, and boots. An old man wearing overall's leaned over to me at the counter and said "You working over to the Courthouse?" Which also translates into "You ain't from around here, are you?" I told him I was from Lawrence, and the waitress chimed in that she, too, had once resided in the "big city" of Lawrence. They were all very friendly.

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Court finally convened around 12:30. First up on the docket: A tall gentleman with a long mullet, who was wearing a black t-shirt with a big mean eagle on it that said something to the effect of "God Have Mercy, But We Will Not--September 11, 2001" This man pled no contest to disorderly conduct, and was informed that he was to stay away from his lady friend who had apparently gotten him into this trouble. I could not hear what point he was arguing, but the District Attorney finally threw up his hands and said, "Stay the hell away from her--it's that simple." The judge then added his two cents by saying "Well, you can lead a horse to water..." I have no idea what the hell HE was talking about.
Once dismissed, Mullet man swaggered out of the courtroom, but not before winking at me and announcing that he was gonna go git a beer. I like to think that the proximity of The Oskie Bar served him well after his day in court, and that perhaps he wouldn't need to drive away in his pickup truck with confederate flag mudflaps. But I don't know.

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Why are so many young, high-school age boys from small towns all redneck/gangsta and shit? I saw a few of those today. Young boys wearing pants down around their knees, one wearing a big fake diamond in his ear that was the size of a dime, practically. Each boy could not keep from touching his private areas in some sort of
slouchy gangsta-peenie-itch-readjustment-cerebral-palsy-looking-thumb-thing. You could almost smell the jheri curl on their blond little heads. And you know that they wanted to end each sentence with "Yo." These are the same kids that, if they don't end up in juvie, get a couple of years older and spend their Friday nights kickin' it in their bad-ass neon enhanced pick up trucks, complete with either confederate flag or silver naked lady mudflaps, up and down Mass. Street here in Lawrence. Hollerin' at the women and rockin' some Skynard on shitty speakers. Yo.

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Church

A few good women and I have made a habit recently of attending church each Sunday, and then going out for brunch afterwards. It's been a really nice mix of people, beliefs, personalities, and lively discussion.

Last Sunday, I was there with two of my good friends... one is an atheist, and the other is just cuckoo. We were sitting in our usual area of the church, and there was a woman who we had not met before on the end of our aisle who was about our age, tall, attractive, and friendly.

Our cuckoo friend was chatting in the lobby during the opening of the service, and entered the sanctuary during "greeting time"... you know the part: where everyone uncomfortably shakes hands and introduces themselves, except in this particular church there is a lot of hugging and laughing, too.

My friend and I introduced ourselves to the woman next to us, and the next thing we knew our other friend came straight up the aisle and full-on slapped the woman on the ass. We were all laughing so hard tears were running as Miss Cuckoo attempted to calm down enough to apologize to our new friend and explain that it was a case of mistaken identity. The poor woman then leaned forward and smiled at all of us, and said "I think I like coming to THIS church."

Check this before sending out chain emails, esp. to me.

I just got an email that said Fwd..fwd..fwd..fwd.fwd--The pledge of allegiance blah blah diddy blah. I realize that I am finishing up day 4 without a cigarette, but hell's bells... this is from a friend who I have specifically ASKED not to send me these crappy forwards. Last week it was a 10 minute power point presentation on Canada, for god's sake. Doesn't anyone have work to do at work anymore? Here's the exerpt from the email I sent back to him.

Since I am no longer in elementary school, there is no place in my daily life that I am required to say the Pledge of Allegiance, at least not yet. Until my right not to say it each morning is taken away, I don't need any email lectures implying that I am not patriotic enough if I don't forward this to at least 10 people within the next 5 minutes.

If it tells you to forward it to 10 people and your wish will come true, find 10 OTHER people... because I will delete your email, spam block your address, and find some liberal-Michael-Moore-loving- ACLU-dues-paying-goddess-worshipping-peace-monger-wiccan-SPELL to cast upon you and cause you 7 years of bad luck, a television that plays only the Fox News Network, a radio stuck on Rush Limbaugh's show, and a world without rainbows, kittens or ice cream.


And with the season upon us, I have a few other requests:

I don't need any reminders that "Jesus is the reason for the season". Suck it. I went to Sunday school. The season is Winter. It's cold. Honor the earth by acknowledging the Winter Solstice. Smile if someone wishes you Merry Christmas, and feel warm and fuzzy inside when you see a bright Menorah. Make an attempt to understand who is celebrating what around the world right now, and during the rest of the year, too.

I refuse to be involved in any type of virtual snowball fight.

I don't care if Santa's reindeer were/are male or female. Just bring on the loot.

No one is sending me a free $50 gift certificate to Chili's or anywhere else.

The FTC does NOT allow cell phone numbers to be given to telemarketers, and you CANNOT register your cell phone number on the Do Not Call Registry. You are wasting your time.

You don't have to sign a petition against bonsaikitten.com... it's a sick hoax, and no one is growing kittens in jars. I promise.

I saw the drunken fruitcake recipe about 6 years ago. I don't need to see it again... been there, made the fruitcake, lost a pancreas. End of story.

The ladies who spray you with perfume at the mall are not terrorists who are trying to anthrax you. They just want to make a buck, and they may be just a wee bit sadistic as they spray you with Britney Spear's "Drool" or J-Lo's "Badonkadonk" perfume.

Another email I don't want to see again...yes, if someone is following you out of the parking garage, drive to someplace well lit and inhabited. Have your keys in your hand when you approach your car. Check your back seat for crying out loud, these things are common sense, and why do we need an email to remind us to do them???
NO one is sending out an email "reminding" people not to drive the wrong way down one way streets, not to apply makeup while driving and talking on the cell phone, not to run stop signs, and that driving a Hummer simply lets us all know you have a really really small penis.

I'm not going to get all upset that Target doesn't invite Salvation Army (a CHURCH, people!!!) to ring bells in front of their stores. I like it. I don't have to feel guilty when I walk by, so don't send me any petitions complaining about this.

I highly doubt that Target and Walmart are dishonoring our veterans or invoking some mad retail hocus pocus by refusing to use the word Christmas, substituting it with "holiday". Whatever. I just want to buy some stuff to give to people, and get out of the store without killing anyone.

Speaking of on line petitions, do you honestly think they are going somewhere or accomplishing anything?

I don't care if you celebrate Christmas, Chanukka, Kwanzaa, or Festivus. I wish you peace and love in this season and all of next year, even if you are Republican.

As for me, my higher power wants me to do two things this holiday season:

1) Refrain from boozing it up, and

2) Do something nice for other people.

Boy, I need a cigarette.

Get your petition on...

It's 10 o'clock... do you know who's reading your blog?

My roommate and I had a very productive conversation last night about some shit that needed to be dealt with, like ummmm... money and boundaries and such. I guess we both don't have enough of those things.

Having lived with her for a couple of months, and sensing that she was fully aware of the negative vibe in the air here at the Love Shack, I thought it appropriate today, for the first time, to go check out her blog on myspace.com.

It was pretty much what I expected, but I was surprised to see some sweet things written about me in there. *sigh*. Feeling rather guilty for fussing about her in my own blog, I went in and deleted my comments from a couple of days ago when things were a little tense.

Tonight we were chatting about blogs, and she revealed that she had attempted to go view MY blog for the first time today. She couldn't remember the address or something, so she didn't get to see it. I wiped my brow and thought "Whew... just in time." Then she told me that today she deleted the negative shit that she had written on her myspace blog... apparently hours (or even moments!!) before I read it.

I am amused. So again with Plain-Jane, one of my bloggity blog heroes outside of the goddess collective. Just recently she wrote this:

You know, people ask me all the time why I let my family and friends read this. Don't I want to bitch about them, people ask.WELL HELL YES, I want to bitch about them. Doesn't everybody want to bitch about the people close to them? However, and no one's going to believe me, I intentionally let everyone about whom I could potentially bitch read this site. You know why? Because I don't think it's productive to spend a couple of hours every day sniping about people with whom you have to live or maintain a relationship. I don't want to wallow. I can't. I'm already negative enough.

I love the thought behind this, and it got me to thinking about writing and censoring, using the blog as a diary of very personal opinions, or just blathering on. I subscribe to a similar philosophy, I think, as Jane. My mom, my boss, my coworkers, friends, and probably some strangers read this. I hope what I put out there is worth reading, and I think I'll make it my mission to speak more like I blog... maybe I don't need to verbally express EVERY opinion that I have. I hope that I don't choose, usually, to blog too much negative crap about others. And if I do, perhaps we can order an electrified keyboard to send a little jolt when I need a reminder to put down the mouse, back away from the computer, and do some deep breathing.

The little bitch almost went to jail again.

This blog entry of a favorite blogger of mine just gave me chills. Go check it out, please!
http://www.plain-jane.com/journal/2006/11/we-can-be-president.html

In other woman centered news, one of the fabulous members of the Goddess Collective has published a great article in the Kansan...
http://www.kansan.com/stories/2006/nov/09/female_o/?jayplay

And on the homefront, things are looking much more positive with the roomie. And the frickin' beagle escaped AGAIN. I got a call from a neighbor who I then asked to tie her to the porch until my roommate got her and plugged up the new beagle hole. The shock collar is not looking so bad right now... you know, I incurred $265 in "dog at large" fines for that beagle in 48 hours. Because I could not pay it, there was a warrant out for my arrest until Grandma and Grandpa stepped in and paid the fine so Lucy's mother would not have to go to jail. Lucy better watch it or Grandma will put a lump of coal in her stocking this year.
Oh yes... we're THAT kind of family. The dogs each have their own stockings. Don't worry, I'll share photos when the time comes.

I'm a happy little Democrat today.

KANSAS IS A DEMOCRATIC state.
and Christina thinks I'm a flaming liberal, which I would pretty much agree with.
Check out my pics, Steve. There's one on there for you.
Current state of affairs at my house: Lucy thinks she has a possum cornered in the backyard. Jamie left a trash bag on the front porch which attracted the big possum to come eat the trash, and it scared the shit out of Jamie when she went out there. Ahhhh. lessons learned.

Na na hey hey goodbye...

Don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.

Click for Mayo, Spam, and Delores.

Home again, home again, jiggity jig. Well, the trip went wonderfully, I am happy to be back. Then this afternoonmy parents bought me a car. That rocks!! I needed something more reliable than Consuela. I now have Delores, the Taurus.
Click on the flickr site and you'll see that everything is organized into sets, so that one does not confuse the Mayo Clinic with the Spam Museum.

Clicking my heels...

Got great news from Mayo today. It seems that the areas of concern, involving blood clotting or varices in my splenic, left portal, portal, and hepatic veins are no longer a concern. There will be no need for intervention or special instructions for prevention other than a minor medication addition. I guess my body has re-routed most of these veins, it has created "collateral veins" throughout the scarred areas and the areas of concern, which is kind of cool when you think about it. These collateral veins shunt blood away from the areas that could be problematic.

I also saw a nutritional counselor, and it was strange... due to my constant night time puking, I now have to eat small meals throughout the day (which I've naturally begun to do), refrain from eating too close to bedtime, (which I have felt that I needed to do but needed a kick in the pants to actually do it.) and I have to follow a low-residue diet. Or low-fiber, as it would be best explained. SO instead of a bran muffin, eat a poptart. No salads, raw veggies, very few raw fruits. Peeled apples. No red meat, white everything... regular pasta, white bread, crackers, white potatoes, etc. And no seeds or nuts. Being both diabetic and prone to high triglycerides, I had some serious concerns, but it seems that this type of food is easiest to digest, and my stomach has some fucked up issues. It's too small, and the food moves through it too slowly, hence the vomiting. SO if the diet keeps the vomiting at bay, then ok. Also, no caffiene in the late part of the day, or chocolate late at night. :(

This morning's funny elevator story... i am on the elevator at 6:45 on my way to appt. This lady says... are you feeling better today? I'm like: do I know you? and she's like: I talked to a woman who looked just like you in the elevator last night. And I was like: no, that wasn't me. And she was like: Well, this person had on Hello Kitty pajamas and was searching for a sprite.
Oh yeah... that's me! I guess the endoscopy drugs were better than I thought. I had no recollection of this encounter.

I have lots more pics, but our wireless connection is way slow so I'll wait and post them on Saturday.

There's no place like home...
There's no place like home...
There's no place like home...

Click for Day 2 & 3 of Mayo Trip

Well, things are going well. I am a bit groggy from test today, but looking forward to Thurs. I have a CT scan at 7:50 (ick) am, then a meeting with a dietition in endocrinology, and then a follow up meeting back at Dr. Kamath's office, where I assume I will hear of any changes they want me to make. They could suggest some type of intervention, but I got the distinct impression that they were mainly wanting to assess the whole situation, have a plan in place in case intervention becomes necessary, and send me on my merry way on Friday. That's what I'm hoping, anyway.

Yesterday morning in the elevator a woman got on and hit the wrong button, then apologized by saying.."Oh, I have a brain tumor. Don't pay any attention to me." On the first night, a guy bummed a cig from me outside, then told me that he's here for a bone scan... probably has cancer in his bones.
There's certainly a bit of sick humor to all of this... I figure so many people here have been sick for a long time and are kinda morbid and twisted about it. I understand this feeling completely.
The buildings and campus themselves are remarkable in their luxuriessness. Is that a word? Everything is all marble and steel and glass, and very very nice. There are baby grand piano's in several of the lobbies, often with someone playing them. There are museum type exhibits everywhere, sculptures, paintings, etc. I think I posted a pic of some blown glass that was way cool.
Ginger is being strangely tolerant of me, and I suppose I have been too. It's been a great trip in that respect.
I have weird roaming charges on my phone, so I am only calling Scott and Becky since they are on T-mobile and it's free. I have briefly talked to the lovely Heather, just for a dose of her own brand of sunshine, and to Andy and Jamie to keep them semi-updated.
I have nothing else funny or interesting, although there was a pain in the ass dude in the restaurant last night BERATING the waitstaff for like 10 minutes. We dubbed him The Jackass, and hopefully I'll be able to get a pic of him, or maybe just a pic of the waitstaff spitting in his food. Is he stupid??? Ladies, you can tell a lot about a man by how he treats waitstaff and how he tips. Remember that.
I am off to bed. It's almost 11!