Put your prayer caps back on

This is Megan, posting for Kalli who is currently at LMH but will be moving to KU Med this afternoon.

Kalli just called and wanted me to let everyone know that there's been a new development in her arduous health journey. She entered the local hospital last week with a high fever and some infections they wanted to fight with IV antibiotics. Late in the week they decided she had pneumonia, and kept her through the weekend. I visited her yesterday and she seemed alert and improving, and thought she'd be out of the "spa" and back to work as of today. However, her Dr. informed her this afternoon that she, in fact, does not have pneumonia. Instead, it's an abcess the size of a grapefruit in her left lung. She expects to have it removed by a cardio thorasic surgeon in the next couple of days.

Kalli has been steadily losing weight and has struggled with fever all along. Her illness is very serious, which is hard to remember sometimes since she is usually still her funny, irreverent self. Please keep her in your thoughts and let her know in some way that you haven't forgotten her!

Her cell phone is broken as of now, but between her parents, who are here in town to help, and myself I hope to have this small problem solved in the next couple of days.

Thanks to all those who continue to help out in all the ways you can. Keep it up!!
Thanks
Megan

Lovely rainy weekend

Andy and I had a sleepover last night. It was interrupted only by beagle trauma when the thunder got bad. Earlier in the evening I was rushing to take a shower to get to a meeting, and I thought Lucy might feel better if she was in the bathroom with me during the storm. I guess the bathroom itself wasn't good enough. She climbed right on into the shower with me and licked my ankles the whole time. She's really got some issues with thunder.

We popped out of bed at the crack of noon today to get down to Liberty Hall to see "The March of the Penguins". It was very good. It was recommended to me by my dear friend Heather Mac, who did a perfect imitation of a cold and unhappy penguin which I will now request her to do for me everytime I see her.

I loved the lady penguins who got into it with each other over those damn males. They were bitch-slapping each other with their little wings and fat bellies. Why can't there be penguin goddesses who just wish each other the best and try not to hurt each other's feelings? Oh yeah, survival and all that shit.

Anyway, I highly recommend this movie... perfect for seeing on a hot summer day, as it is a very very very cold movie.

I think I might meander out in the rain to Sunrise garden center and get a few starter plants to fill up all the empty clay pots laying around my house since I've let everything die in the past few months. Perhaps since I've turned over so many other new leaves, I can practice actually watering plants once in a while.

A friend of my mom has been doing long distance Reiki healing on me, and I swear, I don't know how it works but it sure does seem to help things. I am having minimal pain this weekend and no vomiting, and feeling pretty darn good! Hopefully the rest of the weekend will be peaceful and happy.

90 Days...

Today was my anniversary (or birthday, as they say in AA) of 3 months. It's weird, cause actually avoiding alcohol hasn't felt that difficult with all of the other changes in my life and health. I understand that often people go to treatment for 30 days or more, and get lots out of being taken out of their routine and habits. I feel like I am still "out of pocket" with regard to the way my life used to be, and obviously it won't be returning to that exact way of life anyway.

But the past 90 days of being sick has had it's advantages to getting used to all of this. It's been months since I felt the need to spend 3, 4, 5 nights a week downtown... and obviously I haven't been able to do that. So I am feeling pretty comfy at home, I've been reading more than ever, and have been radiating toward more and more tasteless television. Now if I could just get my knitting rocking, and start keeping the house clean, things would be ducky.

I am looking forward to being able to get out and about more, but I know it will be different. Thank god for the best friends who include me in plans and allow me to be pissy, mopy, pukey, or just ambivalent in general about joining them. For this reason, I am devoting this weekend to getting the house clean enough to have people come over at least, rather than just laying on the couch with the beagle moping like I did last weekend.

In honor of my 3 months of sobriety, and hoping that the next 3 months include both sobriety AND overall good health, I have a few things that

I DON'T MISS ABOUT DRINKING....

*Falling down

*Losing my front tooth several times in the past 6 years (granted, this was partially due to some bad dental work, but honestly, get me going with a few rum and cokes and something important to enunciate, and the teeth would fly. I think the final straw involved me and Dave Workman crawling around on the floor of the Red Lyon trying to determine if any of the pieces of popcorn on the floor might actually be my tooth.

*Falling down

*Drunk dialing people and then not remembering what I said.

*Drunk dialing my mother (even worse)

*The Sandbar.

*Worrying if that's a cop behind me??

*Hangovers (duh)... although the past 3 months might actually be considered one really really bad hangover

*Letting R. move in with me in a really bad judgement call.

*Staying friends with people more because of our similar drinking habits, rather than any other commonality.Warning: random sentimental rant ahead: How lucky I am that just a few months before all of this debacle I encountered a great group of women friends who I had much more in common with than not, and its helped me in all aspects of getting through the shit! And then of course there are my rocks... the ones who have been there and hopefully always will be... Scott, Beck, Andy, Wendy, Lydia, and even my mom:). I don't deserve it but they love me despite myself.

I am sure I'll think of more later... in the meantime, I am grateful to be here...one day at a time...blah diddy blah blah blah.

Picking my nose...

Yippee! I begged, pleaded, rationalized, and made lots of promises, and Dr. S consented to remove the awful nasal feeding tube. I know that I'm still going to have to work hard at keeping food in me, and keeping a food diary and drinking the BOOST shakes and all that stuff, but at least I don't have that damn thing hanging out of my nose now. It was just about to send me over the edge. I've been more depressed in the past week than I have during the entire 3 month ordeal that I've been through. Luckily, I feel pretty darn good physically, so I think things are on the upswing! Of course, knock on wood... I've said that before.

Intermittent Gravy Dripping

I spent a few days at the spa this week. It was lovely. The service was terrible, the room was hot, and I was rooming with a semi-coherent older lady who kept asking about my weight loss "secret".

I'll tell you, KU Med's 3-Day Malnutrition Luxury Overnight Camp just isn't all it's cracked up to be.

So they convinced me to go ahead and let them put in a feeding tube. Apparently all the cool kids are doing it. The least intrusive option, believe it or not, leaves me with a long white tube hanging out of my nose. I tape it to my cheek and then tuck it behind my ear. Tomorrow I am getting out the "Bedazzler". I think I'll make tassels to hang from it in colors to match all my outfits.

The visiting nurse came today to help me with the pump that pumps the liquid food into the tube. I can eat during the day, and hopefully will be able to eat more and more as the days go by. I think this will only last a week or two, I hope. The nurse looked at me and said... "you know, if you want to go grocery shopping, you should go at 6 in the morning. there's no one in the store then. If you're worried about people staring at you."

Tonight Becky and I went to the Douglas County Fair. I figured I get so much enjoyment out of walking around the fair each year and staring at people, it was time to give something back. No one really paid attention. It didn't even garner me any sympathy shots from the carnie at the baseball game I was playing. A couple of years ago Becky and I walked around the fair with big Kwik shop cups full of beer, laughed at innocent people, and had our picture taken together at a photo booth. We gave it to Andy as a present. It said "Little Angels" We reallly wanted a picture of the two of us and my nose tube, but there was no photo booth this year.

There was a booth of overpriced bracelets, each of which was designated with a disease , and 10% of profits supposedly went to that disease/charity. I walked up and asked if she had a Pancreatitis bracelet. Turns out she did have the purple "Pancreatic Cancer Foundation" bracelet. Weird. Unfortunately I spent my last $50 on "Boost Plus Supplemental Drinks" and was unable to spend $50 on a bracelet. Damn.

After the fair we dropped in at Fester's "band practice" (they were all sitting around talking about what to play) and I popped in the door and said "Look what I got done at the Fair!!", swinging my nose tube from side to side. They all laughed, and I went and sat down on the couch next to Tom. After a few minutes, Tom asked "Is that how that thing is supposed to go?" When I looked at him blankly, he asked "How much did you pay for that?" He thought I really had this done at the Douglas County Fair. That would be a cool booth to open up next year.

Last night was my first night with "The Pump"... I wish it were as exciting as it sounds. It is called "The Kangaroo". I am not sure, but I believe replacement parts may be available at Naughty But Nice. I was reading the instruction manual, and I saw a headline that said "Intermittent Gravy Dripping"... which got me all excited about the possibilities of things I could put in the "Roo" for good eatin'. Turns out it said "Gravity". Oh.